The Problem Part Two

The post before last I wrote about the fact that I suffered with post natal depression after I had Penelope. After I wrote the post, and put a link to it on Facebook, one of my Facebook friends contacted me to say that she'd read the post and wondered if she could talk to me about it.  She had recently been diagnosed with PND and said that I was the only other person she knew that had experienced it.


Statistics show that approximately 1 in 10 mothers in the UK experience PND so it's not that uncommon.  After I admitted to having it, I found it surprising that a number of my friends, whilst not being formally diagnosed, had certainly felt low for a while after having their babies.  


There does still seem to be a bit of a stigma attached to it as plenty of people feel that by admitting to having PND they are also admitting to being a bad mother.  This isn't true but then PND can put all sorts of thoughts in your head which aren't all that rational.  I was absolutely petrified that Penelope would stop sleeping at night when there was no indication this would happen at all.  Although given my experience of Max as a baby this worry was perhaps not without some foundation.


S wondered whether I had any hints or tips for coping with PND and I said I found the following useful:


1. Actually talking about that fact that I was suffering from PND was a major winner.  Just admitting that everything in the garden wasn't rosy was a huge help and seemed to lift a weight off my shoulders;


2.  The magic tablets - some people think that taking anti-depressants is an admission of failure but it's not!  In my view drugs were invented for a reason (I held much the same opinion during childbirth!) so why not use them.  OK I ended up having to take more pills for the side effects of the anti-depressants (!) but they definitely worked;


3. Getting out each day, even if it was only for a hour helped.  I think a change of scenery can always be useful; and


4.  Once the magic tablets had started to work, I found something quite therapeutic in housework, hence the reason why Paul nicknamed them my "cleaning tablets".  As we only finished our extension just before I had Penelope (carpets were being laid whilst I was in hospital!), doing some cleaning meant I actually felt like I was achieving something.  As most of the rooms had been upside down during the building works, just sorting things out was strangely satisfying.  


Not all of these will obviously work for everyone but they helped me.  What, I hope, S found helpful is the fact that I somehow symbolise a light at the end of the tunnel, in that I've made it through PND and come out the other side.  There is, therefore, hope that things won't feel as miserable for her as they do at the moment.  It's nice for me to know that my blog has, in some very small way, helped someone else.  


If anyone out there is suffering than all I can do is encourage you to reach out for the support you need.  Speak to your health visitor, your doctor, your friends - you are not alone.


S - sending you lots of love, hugs and happy thoughts - you WILL make it through it and you are a brilliant mum.  There's no shame in PND at all.  


Been there, done that, taken the anti-depressants xx

The Problem...

...with having a blog is that you really need to have something interesting to say.  Needless to say I haven't found anything interesting to say over the last week or so (or at least nothing that can be talked about on here, at least for the moment) and I'm still not sure I have actually found anything interesting to say...


Life with two children, a husband and a part-time job is, by necessity, not always all that full of interesting things, at least not things that will be interesting to other people anyway.  Instead it's full of minor achievements, small battles fought and won, tears, laughter, kisses and cuddles.


About this time last year life was pretty hard.  Penelope was about 3 and a half months old and I had just been diagnosed with post-natal depression.  To be honest I am pretty sure I had it after Max but as he was such a horrible sleeper it was hard to tell where sleep deprivation ended and PND maybe began.  With Penelope it was much easier to identify that something was wrong as she was (and still is) a brilliant sleeper so I couldn't hide behind the lack of sleep excuse.  With the help of two lovely health visitors, a brilliant doctor, fabulous friends and my wonderful family I made it through.  Mostly I think just admitting that everything wasn't a bed of roses was the biggest help.  I did end up on anti-depressants and these definitely helped too.  Paul called them my "cleaning tablets" as I ended up doing a shedload of housework! I remarked to my mum that if they were making me clean then I had clearly been depressed for a very long time :) 


I've been off the cleaning tablets for about four months now and, fingers crossed, there hasn't been a recurrence.  If I get snippy at the moment I can definitely put it down to lack of sleep as Paul and I seem incapable of going to bed early.  I think some early nights are needed!


So no, nothing much interesting to say but life isn't too bad at present, and how can it be when we've had such nice weather and I get to spend time with the children in the park eating ice-cream?

As for minor achievements, Penelope finally worked out how to pull herself up using the sofa yesterday - yay!  Next stop walking....